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- Guard of the Heart and Welcoming Prayer Practices
Thanks, Linda for sharing this. I marvel at how our God connects all the dots in our lives, doing it ever so gently, his finger on the pulse of our lives. This God who is only a breath away!
Your experience, Susan, of your unknown binder and sitting today with Jesus’ words: “Take off the graves clothes and let him go.” I recall a difficult meeting last week, now with new eyes, “my grave clothes receiving a bit of unwinding, that can only happen when you trust someone else enough (not my favorite person) to unwind a fraction of “my grave clothes”. As this week begins I consent to “unbinding”….
During the Wednesday afternoon C.P. group meet something was stirring deep within. I sat for a few minutes when it was over in receiving mode. The phrase: “Existential myopia is always about holding on to something we’re afraid to let go of.” Clearly I heard ADELINE. Initially stunned, just a fraction of a nanosecond. I heard… I saw… I felt… something so true, no pondering, no debating… just stark reality. An amen/your will be done kind of experience. Next day at a ministry, trauma listening, I heard/saw/felt into a painful reality, decluttered part of ADELINE.
It seems God has 3 assignments for me, a well seasoned octogenarian, one of which is walking the healing/reconciliation path with our Indigenous folk. All three a “walking with” kind of assignment.
On this joy Sunday of Lent 2022 “Blindness” is a revealing theme. On a personal level I own up to my personal blindness of not seeing the other as ‘beloved’, certain others. As a co-responsible Canadian we are faced with our blindness toward our Indigenous peoples. On the eve of the delegation meeting with Pope Francis, we are “survivor/settler” together on the the path of reconciliation. The Archdiocese of Regina SK is in a 5-years survivor led reconciliation.
What caught my initial attention on this 3rd Sunday of Lent, was Keating’s phrase: “The participants are pooling their silence…….” Here in Saskatchewan what is heavy on our hearts is reconciliation with our Indigenous (First Nations, Inuit, Metis). The delegation is on its way to a meeting with Pope Francis March 28-April 1. Below is what appeared in Crux Now. We also have a deep connection with the Ukraine; many settled here and have family there; we have a significant sharing of cultural resources. So together we hold on to each other.
Canada indigenous demand Church admit role in ‘genocide,’ rescind colonization edicts: https://cruxnow.com/church-in-the-americas/2022/03/canada-indigenous-demand-church-admit-role-in-genocide-rescind-colonization-edicts/
As I begin this second week of Lent 2022, “what are the deepest intentions of my heart?” What my heart desires is rather murky with stored debris. God’s timing :Wait for the Lord, let my heart take courage” I am encouraged as I join with the community of those who wait, take courage.
The year I was born, Lent began just 8 days later, February 14. So one could say I am a child of Lent. Once a time of sadness now a time of lamentation. I have lived through many years of disentangling “full of self”. I consent to the guiding of the Spirit to oversee and facilitate this disentanglement especially with respect to forgiveness.
I concur, Caroline, Prayer Chapel time feeding my soul, as does praying the Word of the week and other “eruptions of God’s presence”. Kindred spirits, those “made of the same clay as we are” hold us as we move through human made eruptions, such as the invasion of Ukraine, white superiority, gender inequality, male domination of women. Yesterday I participated in a webinar on the spirituality of Mary Oliver, some lines in her poetry take me into God-eruptions in my life. “Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness, it took me years to understand that this, too, is gift”. or “Do you need a little darkness to keep you going?” or “belonging to the purpose of my life”. Glad to have read the words of Madeleine Delbrel, who some 30 years ago introduce me to the word “eruptions” in one life, though I must say with experience now taking me to a deeper place. With gratitude I step into this week.
For some time now I have been paying attention to the Indigenous peoples, mostly Cree and Metis where I live. Perhaps the color that best captures light that flows from me is creeson, a moderate yellow-green color that is deeper green than moss green and darker that pea green. As I begin this week I am open to the Spirit speaking into my life through the prism of my being.
As this week comes to a close, interesting awareness of blessing each person; for some for whom I hesitated, I noted an unaware attachment to approval/non approval. Grateful for the simplicity of the welcome prayer.
Following the overpowering experience of the ocean waves last week another batch of evacuation is taking place, the blessings of memory took me back to a time when I was 10-12,48,56….. a further revelation of my divided heart. I am experiencing the blessing of the welcome prayer and the Litany of Humility. I am enveloped into the ebb and flow of “mercy, mercy, mer-cy. Waking from a dream this morning where I am coming back from a long trip/stay, I am welcomed by a gentleman I never met before, but who is genuinely showing his affection for me. The dream fades as I am taking it on all in, gazing into this new unexpected welcome. I am welcoming memories needing healing and memories of affirmation. Thanks, Susan, “That tells me that I can be deeply aware of the presence of the divine and, at the same time, be conscious of this world I live in, with all of its troubles and possibilities.”
Beginning as such an overpowering experience of the waves I wanted to escape, but something in me prompted me to stay until it gave me its name; it’s name lamentation. I am in a swirl of lamentation, so much lamentation, named and unnamed, discombobulated, until perhaps 40 minutes later , the ebb and flow of mercy, mer-cy; I am in the strong steady embrace of MERCY. Have I been as Rilke says: to limits of my longing, where wrapped in ‘mercy upon mercy, upon mercy’ there is a path through lamentation cries of my city, my province, my country, my heart?
As I begin this week with Jesus stepping into the boat of my life. Over the years of my life Jesus has thus surprised me many times. Each time a burst of anxiety. Do I have it in me one more time? This morning the phrase one of the hymns:” Can you leave yourself behind, If I but call your name? (one more time)(paraphrase). So, with attention, intentionally I breathe into each succeeding moment , with openness…..receiving/embracing the moment as it is, exhaling surrendering desire for security, approval, powerless, one more kairos time.
Ah the wisdom of Al-Anon. “Take what you like and leave the rest”. Praying my way through this week with “mythic membership consciousness” I was surprised at the decisive boldness in my sharing/action in my little Synod reflection group. A new awareness, part of my morning gratitude, at all stages of the unfolding of my life (my journey through the ‘human condition’) God was there just as much as the “decisive boldness” experience this week whispering: “Take what you like(though I now say ‘need’) and leave the rest(in God’s hands)”. Now when I want to ‘feel bad’ (helpless, etc) with respect to earlier events in my life, humility is called for. I am grateful for my Al-Anon friends and consultants for their wisdom. Some twenty-five years ago people began showing up in my life for their 5th-step. I needed a lot of coaching first to understand AA and the wisdom of the inventory. My life unfolds in stages; each stage is necessary; God-anonymous ( a phrase of one of my Al-Anon friends) is shaping me. I am so grateful for the Word of the Week and for all of you. When people ask for prayers I do hold up each person the God who is becoming less and less anonymous in our lives.
My Synod group began last week, ages 50-90, men and women. Responses ranged from missing Sunday Mass, missing the community. One person shared that at the beginning of the pandemic the decision was made to join hearts with those in the Amazonian region who have Eucharist infrequently; a fasting time. Personally I yearn to hear from Indigenous persons, those 30 to 49, gender diverse. Does this mean I can join more than one Synod reflection group? “Today fulfilled in your hearing” , my heart is open. Two people that have challenged me: Gustavo Guttieries, Thick Nhat Hanh.
