another veil has fallen from before my eyes.

can I welcome the destitute rejected person within to my table? am I willing to accompany her when she is in distress, humiliated? am I able to drop my agenda to fix her, to “solve”her problem, talk some sense into her? this is where we run headlong into the welcoming prayer….and the presence and action of God  within. only after all this are we in a position to understand and respond to another person’s pain and sense of rejection.

 

wow!

Already lost my text!

 

humility…welcome.  Letting go of my story about myself, my supposed kindness to everyone. Who cares. I am just going to be here in this moment, with is on my plate, feeling into what it is like to be the other.

I am steeped in scripture. I trust that God, as I understand and relate to, will show me in this moment what to do, and the next, the next and the next.

Knowing what is most important and focusing on it has been nearly impossible for me. That is why the puzzling image and the clouds in the picture resonated with me. Still I see through a glass darkly.

The only thing I can do is turn to God in the passing moment and say “What now?” “What do you want?” There is still the inner weather to be in and with, while applying myself to the next best thing. Then, a brand new moment. The day turns out to be a world unto itself.

Following on this morning: maybe focusing on the narrow gate, squinting to see the target, could that be taking place in the heart? Could it happen only now?

this morning I am anxious about not attending mass . I feel caught between the institutional church and my journey with my God. I still want to know what is “right” be right, check all the boxes. In the end it is just God and I. In this moment, that is where my conscience leads me: to do the next best thing. Not knowing, no guarantees, just choosing to love the best I can.

tech challenged . sorry for errors.?

here is what i wrote in my dediccation of my new sketchbook:

Dedicated to the core of goodness in each person  as they enter the world. May each find goodness within.

may each be forgiven.

Miroslav Volf , a theologian from Croatia, says that there is a primorial goodness in the universe.

During the night, i was cranky this morning about the temperature in the room. this morning i told him that i am like a rabid dog in a cage. the cage is my rule of life. i know that i have the capacity to do the small sniveling things that people do and that disgust me. the bigger awful studff too. of course, the cage is my safe olace where love and mystery can flourish. and hopefully go out to others. i think a lot about not adding to the hurt in the world.

Gulp.

ahhh!

Adiline, i will be praying for you if that is ok . last february, there were 2 weeks when it seemed like every waking hour i was confronted with anxious and despairing thoughts. there was no emergency, just a change of location which predictably us accompanyied by depression. during that time , it came to me that i was to “set the table for anxiety and depression. i set about making a collage with a table , chairs and 2 place settings.

take care. go gently. kathy

miracles during prayer group

while pamela was telling her story about her encounter with the little boy,  a big yellow butterfly flew by the window in front of me.

good morning! i have been studying frames, the way we each have our own idea of what is real and what is true. my intention was to understand how people who i dont agree with see the world. maybe i could appreciate their values and dicern what we share.

now i notice i am looking at all of us from above all the frames. i suppose that is nonduality?

fr carl, what are the four statements youmake as an older person? one was : being available and letting go. i forgot to write them down . thank you!

i edited my post but it did not show up. maybe i hit done but didnt scroll down

to post.

usually, the tuesday group cp and lectio anchors me for the week. but this one , read just this morning, dovetails with my morning reflectios. my husband and i went to visit our son and family. i felt unwell the whole time, even into this morning and i am my symptoms are connected to a lot of anger over the behavior of family members. it is only recently that i can access the bodily feel of anger and name it (long time coming, i turn 77 tomorrow). so i sit here this morning, tempted to complain to other familly members to byoass my anger, try to lesson the reaction in my body.

but, for goodness sake, why? better to feel what is mine  to feel.

over the years since i committed to 2ce a day centering prayer, i have also educated myself about compassionate listening, am training to accompany others in biospiritual focusing (a source of the welcoming prayer practice), studied the discernment process, and have 45 years, give or take, of therapy and spiritual direction.

yet, it is still so hard to choose rightly. (sigh)

[Kathleen M. Kelly]

i find that staying in the moment, talking about “this”, “now” is the most lifegiving type of interaction.

we all have storylines and beliefs  about what is real and they often seem to divide along ideological lines. better to commune outside of our baked-in, rigid “frames “. even in church. especially.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Kathleen M. Kelly. Reason: spelling

ii am interested as well

in the spiritus readings. i find the discussion of mystical phenomena fits nicely with my decision to lump feelings, moods, and even thoughts under the umbrella of phenomena.

“what an interesting thing to say, Kathleen. (“he’s a jerk”) the thought, the statement…phenomena to watch, to discern . noticing the feeling underlying the outburst. praying through it.

looking away…no. just more evil, more unkindness, more hard-heartedness. no.

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