As I begin this week, I am more and more, recognizing “consent melting into surrender”. I am taking Prayer of the Heart with David Frenette. ‘Moving with the breath down to behind and below the navel’ in the Welcome prayer upon my waking this morning brought me into a body consciousness of unconditional surrender. God often prepares me through a dream. In the dream my mother who died ten years ago decided to go back to the house she called home. Initially I was happy. The second time I phoned her she was incoherent, Do make the two hour trip? Suddenly my anger morphs into helplessness. I just can’t do this all over again. I did the best I could, I can’t do this all over again. I awake. Several welcoming prayers later led to this morning. I am not repeating an older pattern. I am actually moving into a new way of being present: body, mind, heart, being; a loving kindness presence (Hesed) which includes people I find intolerable, hard to confront. I am even experience the consolation expressions of positive response to an initiative I launched. The joy of this kind of surrender is not great I have done it. No matter what happens I am on the path… where I am not in charge. I have a felt sense that following this series with David is stirring up spaces within of bodily presence.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by Adeline Behm.