well , yes. centering prayer for years now, i listen to carl arico’s prayer on tthe app , ending with “responding to God’s love for us moment by moment by moment by moment”..
at the beginning of Advent last year, i decided that i would let God tell me in each moment what to do, instead of depending on habitual sequences of thoughts, emotions and actions. at first, it seemed like i was flinging myself from pillar to post. it was a perfect set up for what was to come in march of this year. i had to give up my precious open studio and all my friends. most dont use a computer(not advantaged).
now i find myself choosing to slow down on a massive scale. i had minor surgery a few weeks ago that has been slow in healing. in trying to “do”a lot, including reaching out to others, i had a day full of minor accidents at home involving reopened wounds . i didnt really believe old age was really in the cards for me. but alas, it is here. my husband fell and threw out his back on the same day. how humiliating. how appropriate. how i need to let go of that protestant ethic of always having to produce something, in my mother’s words “earn my bed and board.”
so i am on that thomas merton train : “lord, i have no idea where i am going…”