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what has changed for me is that i am dropping all the stuff i was clutching in my arms that i thought was necessary to my identity: my achievements, my reputation, my projects, my having to have my cake and eat it too, having ro know it all , having to “be” the best (drilled into me as a child), having to understand, feeling happy, my beloved supports-the people who betray me or die, my resentments, my superiority, my intellect, my memory, my health….every crisis , signified by a period ogf anxiety and depression, results in an insight and a release into a different landscape, just ad Thomas says.